After I wrote the last post, of course, I had an attack of awesome guilt and regret at having not raced... SO I saught pennance and took a 2 hr ride on the indoor trainer while watching the "Road to Perdition".
Amazing the power of guilt.
Monday, March 12, 2007
Sunday, March 11, 2007
A race passes...
In the end... I just wasn't ready to try it.
I sit now, at my desk, staring out at the pouring rain in Vancouver. Where should I be? Well, if holding true to my training schedule, I would be almost finishing the bike ride of the UBC Olympic Triathlon.
But I am not. I made the call on Friday, realizing that the forecast of heavy rain and my own feeling of a lackadazical training regime meant that this would not be of value to me. Except now I think it might have given me a kick in the teeth.
The truth of the matter is that training has been sporadic at the best of times, and this now has me looking in the mirror and saying "put up or shut up".
I am proud that my school has taken a priority in my life, and that I've found a passion for something creative and new. However, my past "obsession", or "love", is being sacrificed. And now I see it. I fight with it. I fight with getting in the time to train properly, and mixing that with my ability to finish long art homework, school, work, and getting some sleep. And yet, I know as well as anybody, that my relationship with triathlon is co-dependent. I need that exercise, that goal, that regime, as a way to keep my own personal well-being going.
But as I get more and more into school, exercise becomes less-and-less a consideration. And this has hit me more so today than it has the past few weeks.
In trying to build around following a dream, am I now willing to work harder to keep that semblance of what once was in my quest?
Is the desire there to try?
I sit now, at my desk, staring out at the pouring rain in Vancouver. Where should I be? Well, if holding true to my training schedule, I would be almost finishing the bike ride of the UBC Olympic Triathlon.
But I am not. I made the call on Friday, realizing that the forecast of heavy rain and my own feeling of a lackadazical training regime meant that this would not be of value to me. Except now I think it might have given me a kick in the teeth.
The truth of the matter is that training has been sporadic at the best of times, and this now has me looking in the mirror and saying "put up or shut up".
I am proud that my school has taken a priority in my life, and that I've found a passion for something creative and new. However, my past "obsession", or "love", is being sacrificed. And now I see it. I fight with it. I fight with getting in the time to train properly, and mixing that with my ability to finish long art homework, school, work, and getting some sleep. And yet, I know as well as anybody, that my relationship with triathlon is co-dependent. I need that exercise, that goal, that regime, as a way to keep my own personal well-being going.
But as I get more and more into school, exercise becomes less-and-less a consideration. And this has hit me more so today than it has the past few weeks.
In trying to build around following a dream, am I now willing to work harder to keep that semblance of what once was in my quest?
Is the desire there to try?
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