Plowing straight...

In reliving some of the stories of my grandfather with relatives and cousins, I heard a story of when he first came to Canada from the cold of Siberia and was a farmhand for a wealthy farmer in Saskatchewan. This farmer had these huge Belgian horses that he used to plow the fields, and my grandfather was always the first of the farmhands to plow because, as his employer noted, he ALWAYS plowed straight.
If you've ever seen these plows from the 20's and 30's (1900 by the way) you'd see pictures of these young farmhands standing on this old metal plow and just trying his best to steer it and the horses.
My grandfather always plowed straight, so that the other farmhands would be able to plow behind him with ease.

It's an interesting story, because that was a metaphor for how he lived his life.

I think about this a lot lately, as I believe that writing regularly affords one the opportunity to explore different ideas and thoughts and see where they lead. It takes a certain degree of focus, determination, character, and conviction, to plow straight. It's easy to get pulled off course, if you let yourself. In fact, sometimes it almost feels natural to be pulled off course.

Think of this in our training pursuits. How easy is it to go straight for it. It's easy if the thing you're looking for is tomorrow, or in 1 minute, to get focused. That's why we procrastinate and then all of a sudden are able to miraculously write a term paper in one 8 hour all-nighter when we're in school (not that I ever did that... ever... never...).

I am constantly resisting being pulled off course. And sometimes not resisting. Again, that extra (couple of) pints at the pub, or the burger instead of the salad at lunch, or the late night, the hockey game, the various social obligations. Not that any of these are bad things, they just have the power to pull you off course and, if not tempered, can derail the whole process.

My grandfather was a very good man, but he also could never understand why the consequences of his decisions were sometimes less than desirable, even though the decisions seemed right (and, in most cases, were right). He was basing his decisions on moving in a straight line, and sometimes that meant going over some things that got in the way, or distractions that might pull him off course. He had regrets.

We all will have regrets, but the important thing is to look at the big picture. The big picture is on those things that inspire and motivate me. Be that Ironman, or qualifying for Boston when I got the opportunity to do that, or studying for my LSAT to try to get into law school. When, in your conviction, you believe this is the right course of action to be taking, then even though it is difficult to have to say "no" to those things that come along and offer up sweet alternatives, you realize that being on purpose has greater significance and reward.

I think the one thing I realize is that I can't be and do everything. And neither can anybody else. You can't party late every night/week and expect to also train for and perform well at an Ironman. As I said before, Ironman is not about health, it's about being an athlete. Athlete's live a certain way. They can enjoy themselves but most of the time they keep their eyes on the prize (the good one's do).

We don't avoid living life, however, and this is the part I struggle with. Can I go camping? Can I play baseball? Can I truly enjoy those little things in life that exist outside of Ironman? Can I have, or start, for that matter, a "relationship" (i.e. start dating someone new) while I have this massive, time-taking activity in front of me? Who would want to start out that way anyway? "Hey there, I like you! And I have an off day of training next Friday night! Want to go out for tea as long as we're home by 10pm as I have a 135k bike ride the next day?" Hmm, how romantic!

And I have yet to figure out all the answers, other than to think that there are no absolutes. There are degrees. Every decision involves a counter-decision. So, taking the time to go camping means deciding NOT to do my training that weekend. If that is once this summer, no big deal, but if it is more than that, I could be in trouble... Or maybe I just say "no" for now. Or, it becomes a way to recover after my race (as my fishing trip after the Half Ironman in Victoria will be a recovery weekend for me). And, as for my dating life? I don't know. Again, I never say never, but I think it's important to spend my time wisely, right? So, meeting new people is great and, if I find someone (or a few :) who I connect with then who knows? See it doesn't seem so black and white...

As my grandfather would later lament, he never truly understood why, when he knew he was doing the right thing, some things didn't work out the way he thought they would. He never could figure this out and it was a question up until the day he passed. I think, again, if Ironman or marathon running or whatever is a microcosm of life, then this holds true here too. You can do everything right, and still have a bad day on race day. What you must realize is that you still need to keep the plow straight, because the important part is not the finish, but the start line.

"Always do right - this will gratify some and astonish the rest." Mark Twain