"Some people plant in the spring and leave in the summer. If you're signed up for a season, see it through. You don't have to stay forever, but at least stay until you see it through." - Jim Rohn

This is the rub, right? You've signed up for the race, and you've committed to training. The commitment, though, is seeing it through. They say the most difficult step is the first step. As J.R.R. Tolkien said, it's a dangerous thing stepping out in the morning (I'm paraphrasing). But I think it is equally difficult to keep the journey alive when hope seems to fade and the end gets no closer.

Having run a couple of marathons before where "struggle" more appropriately described the experience, I can say that it definitely takes a fortitude of your desire to see yourself through that toughest time in the race, where you don't care about the finish line, or your time, or anything, but you just want it to end. It would be a lot easier to quit and grab a coffee.

And i have quit before. And believe me, it does not feel good. Quitting a race and quitting a goal is disappointing, but more than that, it feels like true failure. Last year, having had to drop out of Ironman with one month to go, I was, at first, very much at peace, but in retrospect I do really wish I had not given myself permission to quit. Poor results or not, I should have at least been at that starting line...

It was a "smart" decision... It was a "wise" decision... But it was not good for my heart. On that month of August, I failed myself. And in all aspects of life, I shut everything down to start again. I even quit my job...

Out of that, I learned probably the most valuable lesson of my life. The whole month became one of starting again. There is a quote by Mary Pickford, "If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down." And, of course, for us action-flick afficionados, there's the question/quote from Batman Begins "Why do we fall, Bruce?" asks Bruce Wayne's father, "So we can learn to pick ourselves up."

As I began writing this blog, I tried to figure out what my motivation was. Realistically I think at this stage there are maybe 20 people who have read this and maybe 5 who have written me e-mails on it. It's a public broadcast, but right now I feel it is more on cable access than network. The real point, however, in doing this blog is to add another force to make me continue the Ironman quest. I'm accountable, even if it is simply to the blog. Much like my raising money for Ironcops for Cancer is another accountability component. I am racing and through my efforts raising money for cancer research. I can't quit there. Plus, I have a coach. I am accountable to him. Plus, I have friends and family who are supporting me. I am accountable to them (if I am to ask others to accept my eccentric training lifestyle then I'd better give it my time and attention).

All these systems are means to draw from when I need to get up in the morning and do a workout, or stay up until 10pm like I did Tuesday to make sure I got my swim in.

All in all, I believe that it is easy to perservere when things are going well. It's those times where we are challenged by life that determine whether or not we have what it takes. It's easy to let the emotional issues of life determine our mood and attitude, especially when they seem so significant at the moment.

"To reach a port we must sail, sometimes with the wind and sometimes against it. But we must not drift or lie at anchor."
Oliver Wendell Holmes