There's no middle ground...

I feel these days like there are so many little signals that re-enforce my own beliefs and feelings about my quest. I am watching the Tour de France on OLN right now and listening to Floyd Landis’ story. He held the yellow jersey as the overall leader for two days and has since given it up. Landis is scheduled for hip replacement surgery after this tour, as his hip has completely deteriorated. His motivation and drive for this tour is based on a massive reality that this could, and very well might be, his last one. No person has ever come back from hip surgery to compete legitimately at this level…

Then again, they said the same thing about Lance Armstrong and cancer, and we all know how that turned out.

I am going in for surgery tomorrow on my thumb. I have been told to expect to wear a cast for four weeks, which cuts things pretty close to Ironman. It doesn’t seem, though, like this is a “what if?” or “we’ll see how things go” situation when it comes to my race. It’s more black and white. I have not questioned my participation since I made the 100% commitment to make this race happen, and not even since I found out about my thumb. I’ve done my research on the fracture, and I have determined that I can come and compete, and I will compete as hard as I can. I don’t look at this as an excuse for stopping, and either this is a testimonial to my determination or just my commitment to this particular goal. I can’t decide, but I know that I have an unwavering commitment to making this happen no matter what it takes.

It’s weird, because it seems so logical and yet from talking with people some can’t believe I’m still going to try. But I can’t see not trying. A broken thumb, albeit one requiring surgery, is just a broken thumb. People have come back from shoulder dislocations, broken ankles, and far worse ailments to complete and compete in Ironman. So, while unfortunate and certainly inconvenient, I see no reason not to train as hard as possible and continue to move forward in my quest. In fact, I see some definite benefits already:

1) I’ll be getting some of these Thera-Bands to practice my swim stroke indoors, until I figure out if I can actually swim in a pool. This, I believe, could actually wind up being better for me, since I’ll be more focused on stroke skill and range of motion than if I were casually swimming in the pool or lake. Don’t get me wrong, I wish I were in the lake… But I might just get better focus over 4 weeks swimming on a bench.

2) I rode the course in Penticton yesterday. All 180km of it, and I rode it in 6 hours. I learned to change my big ring gear with my right hand instead of my left, and I learned that riding aero feels a lot better when you have a broken thumb. So I was forced to ride aero most of the way, which is tough to do. I also was forced to put less weight down on my handle bars by not using my wrists and hands to support me. This engages the core muscles a lot more which will help strength those. Overall, I would have to say that I feel more confident on the bike than before.

3) Pain is temporary… Pride is forever. This is a little painful. I will bring Advil with me on the rides from now on to take some of the pain out of my thumb, but I realize that this pain is temporary. I’ll have plenty of time to relax after Ironman, but putting up with this pain for the next 5-6 weeks could tell me more about myself than any other training section.

It’s just black and white. Give the training and the race it’s due and work hard to get there. Nothing worth doing is easy, and this has been made a little more difficult.

I’ll see what I can write tomorrow after my surgery. I don’t know yet what I’ll feel like typing, but if I have a report from the surgeon’s table I will publish it!