"It is the nature of desire not to be satisfied, and most human beings live only for the gratification of it." - Aristotle

This past weekend I ran the 1st Half Half Marthon in Vancouver and, by all accounts, came to a successful 1hr 32 minute finish. As I sat at the starting line I went through my expectations for the race. What did I hope to accomplish here? Part of me was saying "stay conservative, your goal is to run a consistent race and to practice your pacing" and the other said "run the race you want to run, and if you can't at some point continue, then so be it."
So, what did I do?
Both... and neither... I did start out with the intention of racing it all out, of taking the Steve Prefontaine approach of just giving everything the whole time and using my will to take me through. My rough pace was about 6:45/mile, well under what I hoped to accomplish (a sub 1:30 half marathon). And then, before about halfway, I fell back... I knew that I would not be able to continue this pace forever. I found myself at the halfway mark at 44 minutes and some change, which was still slightly ahead of where I wanted to be.
And then, as we rounded the seawall to head home, I could feel the legs getting a little heavier, and my form was starting to become less natural. I always know as I stop leaning forward that I am struggling. As the route came up to Lost Lagoon I had to settle into a shuffle for a few minutes while I got my legs back. I had fallen off that pace for sure, and as I came up to the 11 mile mark, at around 1:18, I knew that to break 1:30 would be pushing things quite a bit. At this moment, though, it came to me:
"You are so close to the finish, just bury your head and focus on each minute running a little more efficiently". My pace was faster those last 2 miles and I came in around 1:32, which was slower than I had hoped overall, but with a strong finish and a good start, I have to point at the race and say "good job".
In reflecting back, I am happy with my race but not satisfied with where I am. This seems to me to be part of the definition of a quest, and the hunger to push forward. If it was easy to run an ironman then there would be no need to train. If it was easy to get faster, more efficient, more disciplined, then we wouldn't care so much and it wouldn't mean so much to get to the finish line. There are roads and paths and tests along the way. Some will be affirmations, and some distractions. In a real way there are entities out there to take us off our mission. Enemies on the side of the road, so to speak. So, what are the enemies here? Distraction and procrastination, laziness, late party nights, poor nutrition, poor recovery, etc. There are many temptations to keep us from achieving our goals, and they are deliberate... Which is why to fight through those enemies is part of succeeding in this quest. It is not the pain of a Saturday bike ride, but the late Friday night that makes one lament the Saturday ride.
Discipline, strength, and commitment...

"There are times when a man should be content with what he has but never with what he is." - William George Jordan

That's where I am now...