Mental focus...

"Dear Abby"...

I've lost a little focus. I'm feeling a little bit of that duldrum that lies when you are on a long trip... I need my second wind!

The Vancouver marathon was supposed to be an accelerant for the month of May and get my juices going towards Ironman. Instead, I have been feeling lethargic and I even am fighting off a cold. I'm sucking back the Cold FX pills like candy... So, what SHOULD I have expected? It's a marathon, for crying out loud, not a 5k training run.

This post-marathon training malaise, of course, has me breaking back into old habits... Late nights up, although the last couple of nights I have been engaged in online msn conversations with friends (no, I'm not looking for dates or anything) until late hours and that hasn't helped. But I have also eaten poorly and, in addition to the cold, reverting back to a coffee-laiden hydration plan.

But today, I am sitting here eating an apple.... For those who know me, you may be able to picture a donut more easily... and drinking a glass of water instead of a cup of coffee. I have a vacation for a week in California and I plan to do a lot of short runs and a lot of swimming. They have a great outdoor pool in Santa Barbara, and also there are two group ocean swims planned with the Santa Barbara Triathlon Club. I even have a short 5k running race planned for Wednesday night... Aside from that, I'll be lying on the beach, jogging on the beach, playing golf, reading a book, hanging out with friends, and studying the meaning of it all (dharma bum-talk for vegging out)...

Back to the first comment, though. Eating this apple...

Sometimes it really is quite overwhelming, I'll admit. The training takes so much time and, in some cases, can seem quite lonely. With all the support around me, I still find, sometimes, that I am going it alone. I think part of me likes that, and hates it at the same time. It's similar to liking to "be busy" but lamenting the fact that I have no time to chill out. It's both a burden, a mission, a lifestyle and an inspiration.

The apple, again... How lucky I am to just have an apple to eat! There are so many reasons to be disenchanted with your life, to see all the wrongs and ills and setbacks and go "why me?"
Wait a second... That's just preposterous.

It's not a burden, it's a pleasure. It's a lifestyle. The lonely moments let me reconnect with who I am, and times with my training partners provide a unique social element that connects people of different backgrounds with a common desire in a powerful, life affirming way...

It's good to carry a positive attitude, but I also think that a positive attitude needs to also have a bit of anger or, at least, a sense of determination that you're not satisfied. In a sport where "base training" and "long, slow, duration... duration... duration" are mantras all too often preached, it is difficult to get over-excited. A lot of the motivation has to come from within, which is what makes the rather monastic approach to an Ironman all the more difficult, and also all that more rewarding. The only expectation belongs to you (or me), not anybody else. Get up, go for a ride... Get up early, go for a swim... These are all our personal goals each and every day.

On our training runs, rides, swims, etc. we're always keeping our heart rate down, forcing ourselves not to push too hard. The key in Ironman is always feeling like you can give a little more... and then not giving it. How frustrating!?

Gordo Byrn, the author of "Going Long" (a great book on Ironman training), says that the key to a well-paced race is feeling like you could have gone faster on the bike.

It seems rather counter-intuitive to life, though. How, on earth, can we live thinking we can always do a little more? And then, the problem with that question is that we can ALWAYS do a little more, get a little more. Be a little more than we are...

Training teaches us to focus on the task at hand, and not to get too far ahead of ourselves. There is a process, there are days to get workouts in, regardless of how you feel that day. If you question that attitude, realize that you still have to go to work despite not being "up to going to work" today.

We have to stick to the gameplan. A 2 hour ride today, a run yesterday, a swim tomorrow. Get some weights in, and do my yoga... Just stick to the plan...

I guess what I'm saying to myself is, "Get over yourself... Don't take yourself so god damn seriously!"

And finish your friggin' apple!