Plowing straight...

In reliving some of the stories of my grandfather with relatives and cousins, I heard a story of when he first came to Canada from the cold of Siberia and was a farmhand for a wealthy farmer in Saskatchewan. This farmer had these huge Belgian horses that he used to plow the fields, and my grandfather was always the first of the farmhands to plow because, as his employer noted, he ALWAYS plowed straight.
If you've ever seen these plows from the 20's and 30's (1900 by the way) you'd see pictures of these young farmhands standing on this old metal plow and just trying his best to steer it and the horses.
My grandfather always plowed straight, so that the other farmhands would be able to plow behind him with ease.

It's an interesting story, because that was a metaphor for how he lived his life.

I think about this a lot lately, as I believe that writing regularly affords one the opportunity to explore different ideas and thoughts and see where they lead. It takes a certain degree of focus, determination, character, and conviction, to plow straight. It's easy to get pulled off course, if you let yourself. In fact, sometimes it almost feels natural to be pulled off course.

Think of this in our training pursuits. How easy is it to go straight for it. It's easy if the thing you're looking for is tomorrow, or in 1 minute, to get focused. That's why we procrastinate and then all of a sudden are able to miraculously write a term paper in one 8 hour all-nighter when we're in school (not that I ever did that... ever... never...).

I am constantly resisting being pulled off course. And sometimes not resisting. Again, that extra (couple of) pints at the pub, or the burger instead of the salad at lunch, or the late night, the hockey game, the various social obligations. Not that any of these are bad things, they just have the power to pull you off course and, if not tempered, can derail the whole process.

My grandfather was a very good man, but he also could never understand why the consequences of his decisions were sometimes less than desirable, even though the decisions seemed right (and, in most cases, were right). He was basing his decisions on moving in a straight line, and sometimes that meant going over some things that got in the way, or distractions that might pull him off course. He had regrets.

We all will have regrets, but the important thing is to look at the big picture. The big picture is on those things that inspire and motivate me. Be that Ironman, or qualifying for Boston when I got the opportunity to do that, or studying for my LSAT to try to get into law school. When, in your conviction, you believe this is the right course of action to be taking, then even though it is difficult to have to say "no" to those things that come along and offer up sweet alternatives, you realize that being on purpose has greater significance and reward.

I think the one thing I realize is that I can't be and do everything. And neither can anybody else. You can't party late every night/week and expect to also train for and perform well at an Ironman. As I said before, Ironman is not about health, it's about being an athlete. Athlete's live a certain way. They can enjoy themselves but most of the time they keep their eyes on the prize (the good one's do).

We don't avoid living life, however, and this is the part I struggle with. Can I go camping? Can I play baseball? Can I truly enjoy those little things in life that exist outside of Ironman? Can I have, or start, for that matter, a "relationship" (i.e. start dating someone new) while I have this massive, time-taking activity in front of me? Who would want to start out that way anyway? "Hey there, I like you! And I have an off day of training next Friday night! Want to go out for tea as long as we're home by 10pm as I have a 135k bike ride the next day?" Hmm, how romantic!

And I have yet to figure out all the answers, other than to think that there are no absolutes. There are degrees. Every decision involves a counter-decision. So, taking the time to go camping means deciding NOT to do my training that weekend. If that is once this summer, no big deal, but if it is more than that, I could be in trouble... Or maybe I just say "no" for now. Or, it becomes a way to recover after my race (as my fishing trip after the Half Ironman in Victoria will be a recovery weekend for me). And, as for my dating life? I don't know. Again, I never say never, but I think it's important to spend my time wisely, right? So, meeting new people is great and, if I find someone (or a few :) who I connect with then who knows? See it doesn't seem so black and white...

As my grandfather would later lament, he never truly understood why, when he knew he was doing the right thing, some things didn't work out the way he thought they would. He never could figure this out and it was a question up until the day he passed. I think, again, if Ironman or marathon running or whatever is a microcosm of life, then this holds true here too. You can do everything right, and still have a bad day on race day. What you must realize is that you still need to keep the plow straight, because the important part is not the finish, but the start line.

"Always do right - this will gratify some and astonish the rest." Mark Twain

Flight - Andy Emerson

Here is the print... For more information, visit the Ironcops website at www.ironcopsbc.com
This is my triathlon team and the print is amazing. Take a look at the shadow off the sun!

This is a love affair...

I think I'm off the market...

No, I'm not married...

But my affair is with this ironman "thing"... It's a true relationship, built on some emotional connection, mutual understanding, compromise, and a common goal. The Ironman seeks to challenge me... and I seek to be challenged. There's the relationship.

It's taking time. Not just in training, but in "getting to" training, sleeping more, going out less, stretching longer, writing blogs, etc. The cost in time is getting upwards of 20 hours/week when I think of everything involved. There are some 3-4 hour evenings involved.

It's a monogomous affair. I don't have time for other activity anyway, but any activity I DO undertake has to have the added question "is this GOOD for Ironman or BAD for Ironman?" If it's good, I can do it... If it is bad, I can't.

It's high maintenance. As yesterday's post shows, this affair of mine is expensive...

It brings a smile to my face. Knowing I am doing this is a thrill, and also my heart is in it. I feel the pitfalls of a bad workout like a harsh word from a girl I love. Conversely, I am uplifted and my day is so much better after a really great training day or session. Hmm, I know this feeling. Thinking about it is energizing and makes me feel great about myself and who I am. My best relationships have all had that feeling. I love that feeling.

It is evolving. Every day, week and month I change, morph even, both physically and mentally. I am learning that my limits are those I set myself for, but in training and the desire to try just a little harder, I find that those limits are broken constantly. Ironman brings out the best in me and makes me want to keep going.

It is manifested in the physical, outward appearances. My clean bike, new running shoes, my team uniform, all that make me connect closer to Ironman and want to be a better athlete in order to make "her" proud.

It has its ups and downs, its lows and highs, and all the while I stick with it without fear of a breakup. I trust that Ironman will be there tomorrow, and the next day, so if I have a bad day today, I won't be abandoned tomorrow...

And I have a desire to win "her" heart over... And then to keep winning it over... With every hill and base training session, every lap of a pool, I am closer and closer to knowing the heart of Ironman...

Musings from a romantic :)! At least for today...

Boston or Bust - One Man's Journey to the Mecca of Marathoners: Ironman or Ironhead? No, Iron Wallet!

As Vince points out on his Blog, it's true, I only put in 3 pairs of shoes... Probably more like 5-6. So, there ya go, it's a clean 8 GRAND....

Boston or Bust - One Man's Journey to the Mecca of Marathoners: Ironman or Ironhead? No, Iron Wallet!

Who is picking up the tab???

As I get the opportunity to work from home today, I decided to give all my "triathlon gear" a little bath. So, I am washing all my bike shorts, running clothes, etc. I know, this is absolutely spell-binding, page turning material to put in a blog, but the point I'd like to make is:

I have ENOUGH clothing!

And yet, I'm going through it all like moths... My swim shorts are already wearing out (fair warning given to anybody who swims with me before I get a new pair), my running gear is shrinking by the day (or I am "expanding") due to washing, washing and more washing... I know that you are supposed to hang dry this stuff but I just don't have time and, thus, it's all shrinking. Again, I will blame the laundry procedure rather than too many donuts.

So, combine that with a need for new bike shoes, new bike helmut, bike tuning and equipment, running shoes, etc. and a dreamy desire of a new bike, and you're looking at someone who is about to take consumerism to a whole new level... But out of necessity (REALLY!). Truth be told, Ironman costs money. Some might say upwards of $10,000 for the year. It sounds ridiculous, but when you factor in travel, hotel costs, entry fees, Power Bar and E-load purchases, coaching, swim lessons, new runners, clothing, etc.... That's what it comes to. And I am NOT even thinking about the new bike right now!

Here is a breakdown of my projected costs for the year:

Entry fee: $575
Entry fee for 2 half Ironman races: $175 each ($350)
Bike maintenance: $1,000
Bike shoes and helmut: $250-300
Running shoes: $500 (3 pairs at least)
Swimsuit: $50
Coaching: $1,200
Travel & accommodation for all races: $2000
Nutrition: $600
Massage: $1000 (for the year)

TOTAL: approximately $7,500

That's what I KNOW of... Without the new bike idea (which, in retrospect, looks like just lunacy right now).

Ironman need Iron Credit Card!

Gotta go put the clothes in the dryer :)!

Life imitating... well, art. If art can also be seen as athletic pursuit than perhaps this whole training thing is an art in and of itself. So, I wonder, does creativity apply to the training and preparation required to run the Ironman? By that account, is a creative mind and heart a necessity to achievement.
After all, it can't all be just a logical desire to be healthy. And, in this case, it's not to "be the first" or "be the best". We're all treading over sculptures and accomplishments that many thousands have completed before us. In fact, in many cases we're copying wisdom and experience in order to forge our own path through the "mountains", so to speak (although that could be a literal truth given the topography of the Ironman Canada course).

Then again, isn't that what most art is?

I remember an interview with Leonard Cohen a few months ago in which he answered a question about those who believe he stole some of his ideas. He didn't deny it, in fact he said that he had listened to a lot of music, and read a lot of poetry, and who is to say which of that, or pieces of it, had an influence on any particular song or poem he has written. In fact, it would be difficult to imply the opposite.

Since the Ironman cannot be completely about health or experiencing something that nobody else has experienced, what is this "quest"? And is it really possible that the quest can end at the Ironman. After all, I have already completed it before. My desire to do another comes from a knowing inside that I have something left to discover about myself. I do not know yet what that is, though I have inklings of some of the possibilities: perhaps it is the question of "what am I capable of?" But, then again, I don't know if that could ever truly be answered, since no matter how hard I train or how strong I get, there is always something more I COULD do.

Maybe it is just to create a quest... To give myself something do for a few months. To discover another piece of myself THROUGH the quest that I previously didn't know. To come home at the end. Because I know it will never truly satisfy me, as even when I have thought I was satisfied, it made me more unsatisfied believing that "this was all that there was" for me to achieve. I now believe that is impossible, that we are never fully complete, nor have we achieved everything of which we believe we are capable. How maddening, then, to still believe in trying.

That old adage that it's not "the destination, but the journey" really does hold true. By that account, I hope that I never fully arrive, so that this Ironman in August is merely a stepping stone to another leg. That's comforting, and also unsettling, because while it means that it's not the "end of the world" for me, it also means that I have to work hard to push towards it. Because to not do that is to cheat on life with a half effort not worthy of the commitment that I made to myself.

"Success is a journey... Not a destination" - Arthur Ashe

Purposeful training!

Riding like Lance... All about the bike!

Last night I managed to screw up and miss the group as they left our North Vancouver meeting area at 6pm. Coming over the bridge during rush hour was not enough, as I battled the North Shore traffic along Marine drive on my way to the Rona shop where we were all to meet, I was congratulating myself for having timed this drive perfectly. I would arrive at almost exactly 6pm, the time of our departure. I could get ready to ride in less than 2 minutes and BOOM, I'd be off to Horseshoe Bay with the North Shore Tri Club for their weekly Wednesday night ride.
Pulling into the parking lot, I saw that nobody was around. "F#$^", I thought, "they didn't even wait 2 minutes for any of us latecomers!"

I then called my coach, who was also supposed to be there, to let him know that I had showed up but was apparently too late. To my surprise, Dean answered his cell, and proceeded to chastise me because, well, I was at the WRONG Rona Shop... And, since everybody was getting ready to leave from the RIGHT Rona Shop, they couldn't wait for me.

So, I got back in my car, and drove to Park Royal, hoping I could get a little bit ahead of the pelaton and join up with them there. But North Shore traffic is not cooperative. In fact, I'd say that North Shore traffic delays are inversely proportional to the anxiety of the person who needs to get somewhere in a hurry. The more you need it, the slower the traffic goes, and the lights invariably turn red at each and every intersection. Yes, I know Einstein's little relativity theory, but I will contend that on this day the biking spirits were testing me...

I got to Park Royal just in time to see a group of three ride by. As I got ready, I realized there were no more riders coming, so I knew I had to catch up. I flew out of the gate up Marine Drive towards Horseshoe Bay. I deduced that if I rode a little harder than usual up the many hills on the way, that I could probably catch some of the stragglers. I was a little disheartened when I finally arrived at Horseshoe Bay, only to find that there was nobody. But, I did catch the three riders who had passed by about 5 minutes before I got going... Unfortunately, those three were not riding with the group. They invited me to ride with them, but I was determined to catch up with somebody I knew... Too bad, too, because one of them was quite a cute girl and I figure with the speed I was trying to go she must be a pretty good rider...... But I digress!

I turned back up the hill, and managed to run into a member of our group, Duncan, who was "sweeping" (the last man back to make sure everybody's okay). He proceeded to tell me that the main group, including my coach, had passed by a few minutes earlier. Okay! I'm just behind them. I turned onto the highway and proceeded to push up the three main hills that take you back home from the Horseshoe Bay terminal. Again, with the hope I could catch the group in mind, I was riding up the hills with fearless abandon. However, with each crest, as I looked ahead, I could not see anybody in front, and now, having rode past our sweeper, I could not see him behind me. I was a little discouraged, believing that I was either going slower than I thought, or not gaining any ground (at best) despite believing that I really was pushing my limits. There is something unnerving about believing you are giving it and hammering, but not getting anywhere.

I pushed up the last hill past the Cypress Mountain turnoff, and my legs were burning. Three days of riding already were taking their toll. Did I ever mention biking is my weak link?

Finally, I pulled into Park Royal, having caught nobody, having spoken a few select words - a real challenge for me to speak little - and having put my maximum effort into the entire ride. Average heart rate for the entire 90 minute ride was 155, and I was able to max out at 178. Vince has me somewhat interested now in picking up one of the more technical heart rate monitors so that I can start tracking my altitude and speed and graphing it all out. It would be interesting to start really doing this scientifically and see how it all fits together... But I'll save that for the next time (yes, I am already thinking of my next race). Maybe somebody can tell me how far I went, though, because I can't quite figure out how to hook up my MEC bike computer - okay, maybe I shouldn't be worried about a heart rate monitor with all the gadgets until I figure that out.

I don't have any race reports to put on here yet, so this will have to do! Vancouver marathon is coming up, and I am off to Atlanta for four days beginning Friday, so I'll be on a "running only" diet until Monday night - I don't know if that's like the South Beach diet or not.

Have a great weekend and good luck to those who are doing a Hill Time Trial on Saturday at Cypress Mountain... I'll be looking for the reports to see what I should be aiming for!

"The best motivating is self-motivating. The guy says,'I wish someone would come by and turn me on.' What if they don't show up? You've got to have a better plan for your life." - Jim Rohn

Playing?

If you are a follower of endurance sports, you may have heard of the Iditorod. It's a sled dog race lasting 9 days and covering 1150 miles... It is listed as one of the toughest endurance events in the world. Oh, don't worry, Ironman and Tour de France are in there too...

Really, the majesty in this event is the dogs. You take a team of huskies and make THEM run for 9 days. What is THEIR motivation? They don't seek prizes, trophies, money, or the glory of qualifying in their age group... They aren't looking to do a personal best... And I can't imagine that their motivation is that they are hunting a prey - I haven't seen any gigantic cariboo at the end of the race where the carcus goes to the winner...

Huskies like to run. They are motivated by two thoughts, "I'm running" and "When's the next time I can run?" They are loyal to their owners and run for them, but really, it is just pure running.

I have a few friends who are like this. They just like to run... With dogs and animals, there is a survival instinct at work here. For us athlete's, do we have the same survival instinct? In some respects, we do... After all, try running hard when you are completely unmotivated. We need to create the "survival" instinct in us when we get out there. Maybe that's a goal we have. That's definitely why we run with more conviction during a race. Maybe we realize how good it feels to get out for a quick 10k after a tough day of work. Is that a survival mechanism? After all, how much better do you feel when you finish?

And the drive to survive creates the instinct to run. In dogs, it is definitely so. Maybe in order to drive ourselves into that "survival" mode enough to be motivated to get out there even when we are not feeling as fit as we would like comes from having a desire and a goal compelling enough to get us moving. For me, it's Ironman. For a few of my friends, it's an ultra marathon. I know when I trained for Ironman in 2002 my "real" desire came in June when I realized just how close the race was and how little I felt I had trained. I was most certainly afraid and that fear was a great "survival" instinct... Actually, my friend Paul signed up for Ironman after having spent a year learning to swim for the first time. HIS motivation was definitely survival (sorry Paul, but it's a good story)...

Conversely, when we don't have that compelling reason, that purpose, that "Boston marathon qualification", then what IS the point? Can we just be a dog and run? Are we that instinctual. I'd like to think I am to some level, as I know I need to run just to feel good most days, and last year (2005), NOT being able to run made me depressed. But running just for the pure joy of it? Pushing the limits just because they are there to be pushed? I think it happens, but few of us apply that sheer joy consistently.

I do know people like this, and I marvel at their enthusiasm. They truly act like a child getting to play outside when you ask them if they'd like to go for a run. Or, for that matter (although I hesitate to say this for fear of insulting someone), like an energetic husky...

Maybe running for 9 days and 1000 + miles would give you that love and joy for running, although I don't know if I would want to run the 10th day.

When do you know you're enjoying it? You just know, and then you never stop running.

"I just felt like running" - Forrest Gump

Today I would like to congratulate all my friends who competed in the Boston Marathon today.

The Boston Marathon is kind of the ethereal "Mecca" of the marathon running world. I have had the privilege in life to have the athletic ability and commitment to qualify and run this historic race, and to watch as more and more of my friends head over to Beantown to complete the heralded course is inspiring.
All weekend I've been hearing about the Boston Marathon from a variety of outlets. On T.V., every mention of "Boston" also mentions the marathon. Even the sports news today showed the Red Sox finishing up their game and then announcing "we're going to watch the rest of the marathon".
Believe me, it is quite a sight. ESPN cameras are all over the finish line. There are jumbo flat screens supplied by Adidas or whomever that show commercials all day every day for the few days leading up to the race. It truly feels like the Super Bowl, and you can't help wondering what the rucus is all about.
Then you realize... This is for my race! It is one point in your life where you feel like you are one of the great athletes. This is your Super Bowl, your Stanley Cup, your Olympics... You have to work hard to get here, and then you have to contain your excitement in order to make sure you're focused enough to not embarrass yourself... Yes, it is possible to. Boston has seduced many a would-be runner into believing they can take this race on! There is a discipline to running the race that you either learn by experience... or by fate.
It is truly the "mecca" of the marathon... In three weeks I get a chance to qualify and go again, but if it doesn't happen in Vancouver I'll be going for it in October for sure. First thing's first, though: Ironman! And in Ironman, this "marathon" is just the final leg...
Congratulations my Boston-finishing friends! Enjoy the moment!

"The tragedy of life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach. It isn't a calamity to die with dreams unfulfilled, but it is a calamity not to dream.... It is not a disgrace not to reach the stars, but it is a disgrace to have no stars to reach for. Not failure, but low aim is sin." -Benjamin Elijah

Yesterday I decided to do my long ride on the indoor trainer. I had some good reasons, the first being namely that the weather outside promised to be miserable. The second was that my legs were sore and tired, and I hadn't slept much the past few days, so I wanted to make sure I was able to work out on my own terms (riding with a group does not always afford you this luxury). And third, I had Easter plans that I needed to ensure I could get to... Again, being able to control my ride a little was made more possible by the trainer. So, I stuck in Lord of the Rings Pt. 2 (The Two Towers) and just got on and rode....

Riding on a trainer can be very boring, but one of the things I am trying to do is train myself to bike with a higher cadence. So, being indoors allows me to focus on making sure I bike with higher average cadence for longer, training my neurological system to be used to pedaling faster. I feel that by pedaling faster I will develop more efficiency and power... At least, this is what I read.

Pedaling around 110-115 for a few minutes is not easy, but that's where Lance is. What I am also doing is mixing some single legged pedaling in there as well. All of this work makes me want to go out and get some Power Cranks. This cranks basically take the "training wheels" off the pedaling since you cannot use one leg to support the other. It looks like "fun"... Okay, not fun, but worthwhile to try.

It's Easter weekend and I also managed to get my run in this morning. 1 hr 40 minutes! Tomorrow (Monday) the weather is supposed to get a little better, so I think I'll take my riding outdoors for a couple of hours. This next week is going to be challenging as I have to go to Atlanta on Friday and won't be able to do anything other than run all weekend... So, I am going to discuss the possibility of focusing more on riding during the week so that I can run this weekend.

The Vancouver Marathon is also fast approaching and I have not yet completed a run longer than two hours... I was able to complete the Philadelphia Marathon with this level of training, but I did have higher hopes for Vancouver. Still, the Ironman remains my #1 priority and the other races are going to have to be used for experience. The Boston Marathon being tomorrow, though, I can't help wanting to see if I can put in a qualifying time...

Boston or Bust - One Man's Journey to the Mecca of Marathoners

My "inspiration in blogs" comes from a guy in Vancouver called Vince Hemingson, who has qualified for and will be running the Boston Marathon this weekend.
His blog has been running since January 2005 and I had the opportunity to be Vince's marathon clinic coach for the Vancouver Marathon last year.
Anyway, check it out and wish him well this weekend!

"Some people plant in the spring and leave in the summer. If you're signed up for a season, see it through. You don't have to stay forever, but at least stay until you see it through." - Jim Rohn

This is the rub, right? You've signed up for the race, and you've committed to training. The commitment, though, is seeing it through. They say the most difficult step is the first step. As J.R.R. Tolkien said, it's a dangerous thing stepping out in the morning (I'm paraphrasing). But I think it is equally difficult to keep the journey alive when hope seems to fade and the end gets no closer.

Having run a couple of marathons before where "struggle" more appropriately described the experience, I can say that it definitely takes a fortitude of your desire to see yourself through that toughest time in the race, where you don't care about the finish line, or your time, or anything, but you just want it to end. It would be a lot easier to quit and grab a coffee.

And i have quit before. And believe me, it does not feel good. Quitting a race and quitting a goal is disappointing, but more than that, it feels like true failure. Last year, having had to drop out of Ironman with one month to go, I was, at first, very much at peace, but in retrospect I do really wish I had not given myself permission to quit. Poor results or not, I should have at least been at that starting line...

It was a "smart" decision... It was a "wise" decision... But it was not good for my heart. On that month of August, I failed myself. And in all aspects of life, I shut everything down to start again. I even quit my job...

Out of that, I learned probably the most valuable lesson of my life. The whole month became one of starting again. There is a quote by Mary Pickford, "If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down." And, of course, for us action-flick afficionados, there's the question/quote from Batman Begins "Why do we fall, Bruce?" asks Bruce Wayne's father, "So we can learn to pick ourselves up."

As I began writing this blog, I tried to figure out what my motivation was. Realistically I think at this stage there are maybe 20 people who have read this and maybe 5 who have written me e-mails on it. It's a public broadcast, but right now I feel it is more on cable access than network. The real point, however, in doing this blog is to add another force to make me continue the Ironman quest. I'm accountable, even if it is simply to the blog. Much like my raising money for Ironcops for Cancer is another accountability component. I am racing and through my efforts raising money for cancer research. I can't quit there. Plus, I have a coach. I am accountable to him. Plus, I have friends and family who are supporting me. I am accountable to them (if I am to ask others to accept my eccentric training lifestyle then I'd better give it my time and attention).

All these systems are means to draw from when I need to get up in the morning and do a workout, or stay up until 10pm like I did Tuesday to make sure I got my swim in.

All in all, I believe that it is easy to perservere when things are going well. It's those times where we are challenged by life that determine whether or not we have what it takes. It's easy to let the emotional issues of life determine our mood and attitude, especially when they seem so significant at the moment.

"To reach a port we must sail, sometimes with the wind and sometimes against it. But we must not drift or lie at anchor."
Oliver Wendell Holmes

"The successful person has the habit of doing the things failures don't like to do. They don't like doing them either necessarily. But their disliking is subordinated to the strength of their purpose."
E.M. Gray

When I used to play baseball, I would spend hours working on throwing drills. But I would have much preferred to get into the batting cage and hit 50 baseballs rather than throw them. If you haven't guessed, I was a much better hitter than a thrower. As a baseball player I could never play shortstop or 2nd baseman, simply because my throwing was not accurate enough. But boy I could hit.

It pained me every practice to go and work on throwing drills. I was both embarrassed to toss the ball into the next field, and also just more interested in hitting. But my coach wouldn't let me.

Now, I look at Ironman, and my strengths and weaknesses. I am generally drawn towards those things that I am most comfortable in, namely running drills and running in general. I struggle with strong cycling and also with nutrition. This year, however, I have been focusing mostly on cycling, and my running has taken a hit. It is not comfortable, and I don't like it, but the discipline to keep working that plan of becoming a stronger cyclist will, in the long run, pay off. Really, when I analyze my past triathlon results, I can say that showing up in the bottom half of the bike and then having to make up time on the run is demoralizing and tough. And, in Ironman, being a strong cyclist will make me ABLE to run the marathon...

So, I plod along, putting in my bike miles, leaving the running shoes on the shelf when the temptation comes to substitute one for the other. I will be like Lance, I keep telling myself... I will be like Lance!

"The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want." - Ben Stein

"Competition is a by-product of productive work, not its goal. A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others." - Ayn Rand

I love this quote. In short words, it summarizes my whole thinking about being involved in "races". Some people argue that the Ironman is not a race, but more an experience. As I've said before, I disagree. It's a race. If it wasn't a race, you wouldn't have a time limit for it's completion... After all, most anybody can complete 2.4 miles of swimming, 112 miles of biking and 26.2 miles of running... Given enough time.

No, the Ironman is a race. Within many of my running and triathlon peers, I perceive two distinct attitudes towards the race. With one group, it really is about beating someone else, or being faster than "that" guy/girl. Or, in some cases, the desire to qualify for Kona/Boston, etc. before someone else does... That's the kind of race that leads to heartache and puts a lot of power in the other person's hands. After all, you cannot control how "they" train, or "their" race.

In 99.9% of all races I am involved in, there is at least one person faster than me, and at least one person slower than me. I've been fortunate and sometimes run a good enough race to have ONLY one person in front of me (I've been 2nd in one 1/2 marathon), and I have also been in the bottom third of race results.

Then there is the 2nd group, described by the quote above. I like to believe that I fall into this group. I do not wish to beat any "body". I think that the moment where I want to use someone else as my motivation is about 100 meters from the finish line, where the desire to keep up and pass or not get beat will drive me to finish strong. But if I carry that same need throughout the race, I'll take my focus off my gameplan and leave my performance in the power of someone else. I'll push harder than I should in a section, or ease off too much in another.

So, my desire is to achieve the best race I am capable of. Where that places me is up to the results at the end, but it cannot be my concern during the day. If I am trained properly I should do exactly what I plan to do. Especially in the Ironman as so much depends on choosing a pace that you know will take you for hours, and sticking to it...

Someone has defined genius as intensity of purpose: the ability to do, the patience to wait. . . . Put these together and you have genius, and you have achievement.

Can I be a genius?

This is a great picture from the Stormy race last August. From left to right: me, Patrick, Justin, and Vince (who did the whole thing). Our relay team came in 1st overall male team...

And, I end the week off with a 90 minute bike ride this morning. I have managed to get two outdoor rides in this week, which is the first time all year... The weather is finally starting to cooperate.
I am working to eliminate the starter phrase of "I have to..." when I refer to training (e.g. "I have to do a run today"). Truth be told, I don't "have to" do any of this. Any time I do a workout it is not a matter of obligation, but of choice.

Ah, it's April. Less than 5 months until the Ironman and just over 2 months until the Half Ironman in Victoria. Strangely enough I feel as though everything is going along smoothly. Maybe it is the fact that I have done this all before, but I am remarkably at peace with it all. I work hard when I need to train hard, and I think that fact has made the rest of my life more balanced. I don't worry about training anymore. I really have to say that having a good coach has made that part easy. I don't have to think about what training I need to do. I just take the schedule and do the workout he suggests at the intensity he suggests. Seriously, it is nice to have somebody else make the decisions.

I am an active participant, mind you, in this. I tell him how the training is going or feeling, and give him feedback in heart rate readings, speed, etc. but then it's up to him to tailor the schedule to my responses. Quite liberating, really. And the great thing is that when I have my days off, which I do tomorrow, I don't have to fret about whether I should be doing something else.

Still looking for that new bike, though.........

Hmm, and the search begins... for a new bike...

I have the bug, admittedly. I've chatted to way too many bike folks about bikes lately and, now, I have caught that illness...

Triathlete's get this every once and a while, and I don't know if it is really the need for a new bike, but just the need for something to get excited about in training. We are the few folk who put our bikes in our bedrooms to store them, as if it is some kind of art work we like to wake up to. Ah, look, my bike ;)!

Honestly, this feels like the worshipping of a false God. I mean, really, does a new bike make me faster?

The answer, of course, logically, is no.

Yet, I am still out on the hunt. I'm not looking at the P3 Carbon or anything like that. I'm still a starving triathlete wanna-be...

Cost of Ironman just jumped a couple grand :)!

My coach this week has given me a little reprive. I almost gagged when I saw that I had a 90 minute ride scheduled for this weekend. Based on the fact that most of my longer rides have extended into the 4 hour mark on most Saturdays, this almost feels like a vacation.
But boy do I need it. I have felt the steady buildup of mileage the past 2-3 months and, since Sunday, my legs have been tired. Also, I have had some trouble sleeping lately, which is a classic sign of overtraining. SO, backing off for a week is going to "do the body good".
No, I still have my two-a-days going and can't let up on a rest week, but it's nice to know they exist sometimes. Time to fuel up, sleep up, and get recharged for the next big push! The half ironman in June is just over two months away and I need to bike some serious hills in preparation.

Life and training...

It was an interesting week last week. My grandfather passed away on Friday after a short battle with cancer. It was not completely unexpected but needless to say it has had an impact on me and my family.

Sometimes it is good to take a step away from the training and put it in perspective, and this past week I am taking that time to do so. It is not easy, but getting out for a run or a bike ride by myself has been a nice way to get away from the busy-ness for a bit and just be alone. I am very privileged to have this outlet to go to when I need it. While I enjoy the group and social aspects of triathlon and Ironman, I do recognize that it is a lonely sport to undertake. On race day you really are part of a collective but it's your own will and toughness that gets you through hours and hours on a bike and a run. Everybody else is really scenary.

Anyway, I didn't come up with any big revelations on my run this weekend, but it was nice to do my run in the woods and tune out the rest of the world for a couple of hours...