I switched to the earlier swim class last night and wound up being the only person in attendance... That made for a great 1 hour private lesson, which is a rare occurance at our age without forking over some serious dough. My area of concern is still body position, and this is largely due to weaker abdominals and core... Ah, the same old story. It's amazing, when one puts the effort in, at how much more fluid-dynamic you can make yourself when you focus on this. Of course, like anything, when you're not used to it it is hard for the position and effort to become habit.
But that's what we're working on.. Habits. Habits are the key to success in triathlon. The technique I build into habit will make it effortless and carry me through when I am focusing on other things, like nutrition and game plan. So, in all of this, if the technique is not made into a habit, it will always be a struggle. And the best way to make it a habit is to help create the "body" that is required to allow the habits to occur... For instance, increasing flexibility and muscular endurance, so that I have the mobility necessary to hold the technique.
This week's plan:
Sunday - today - 45 minute run (completed earlier this morning) at below 160 BPM.
Monday - Bike - spin class (1hr)
Weights & stretching - 45 minutes
Tuesday - Run - 35-40 minutes
Swim - 1500 meters
Wednesday - Bike - indoor 45 minutes
Weights & stretching - 45 minutes
Thursday - Run - tempo run 45 mins-60 mins
Swim - 1500 meters
Fri - weights
Sat - Haney to Harrison Relay (3rd leg 13km)...
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Saturday, October 28, 2006
In transition... Thoughts from the Preparation line.
Part of this continuing training is self-evaluation. I need to assess where I have come from and see what I did last year that can help me plan for this year. While I still have not really determined what my actual goals are for this year, I think knowing what I was able to accomplish last year will help me determine what I should expect or aim for this coming year.
First question we need to ask ourselves as we start the new season: Did I meet my goals?
Well, I did set myself a time goal of being faster than 4 years ago in Ironmon. I did not meet that goal. I went from a 12:16 to a 13:56. So, no to that goal.
I set a goal of being stronger on my bike. I'd say that was a definite "yes". Performance-wise, my race in Osoyoos proved that. I pulled out a sub-3 hour bike ride on what is arguably one of the tougher 1/2 Ironman courses. And, in Ironman, despite a 1 hour technical delay, I still managed a 6:30 bike split. But the real key is that I felt more comfortable on the bike than I have ever felt.
I set a goal of running the marathon portion. And I did not meet that goal.
I set a goal of completing the race. I DID meet that goal.
I set a goal of enjoying the whole experience, from training to Ironman. I DID meet that goal.
2nd question: Did I follow my training plan?
"Mostly". However, with the broken thumb, surgery, and various trips out of town, I was definitely not 100% into the training plan. I believe all those factors probably would have addressed some of the goals I had above.
Did I address my weaknesses?
Biking - absolutely. I am no longer looking at biking endurance as a weakness in my racing.
Swimming - fatique and efficiency. A 36 minute 1/2 IM time in Osoyoos showed me I had definitely improved in the year. I took it upon myself to take swim technique classes throughout the winter, and I made a point of practicing regularily.
Nutrition - better. I wouldn't say I fixed this issue.
Strategy - I developed a strategy and was sticking to it, although when things became unrailed, I definitely went with instinct instead of my head, and that may have hurt me later on.
The "X" factor - the determination, the will, the desire... I wanted to get that as I have seen it as a weakness in my previous racing. That final push to say "go for it"... I'd say this one is a work in progress....
Was I satisfied with my race results?
Amazingly, I am more happy with my race than the one 4 years ago. I had a lot more positives in terms of my performance, given all the hurdles I encountered. I know I did a great job given what I had available to me.
A 5:23 in Osoyoos is really my benchmark in terms of how far I realize I have come. I know I have it in me to put together a great race and that was, by far, my best race to date.
In evaluating last year, very generally, I can figure out the areas I will concentrate more on this year...
First question we need to ask ourselves as we start the new season: Did I meet my goals?
Well, I did set myself a time goal of being faster than 4 years ago in Ironmon. I did not meet that goal. I went from a 12:16 to a 13:56. So, no to that goal.
I set a goal of being stronger on my bike. I'd say that was a definite "yes". Performance-wise, my race in Osoyoos proved that. I pulled out a sub-3 hour bike ride on what is arguably one of the tougher 1/2 Ironman courses. And, in Ironman, despite a 1 hour technical delay, I still managed a 6:30 bike split. But the real key is that I felt more comfortable on the bike than I have ever felt.
I set a goal of running the marathon portion. And I did not meet that goal.
I set a goal of completing the race. I DID meet that goal.
I set a goal of enjoying the whole experience, from training to Ironman. I DID meet that goal.
2nd question: Did I follow my training plan?
"Mostly". However, with the broken thumb, surgery, and various trips out of town, I was definitely not 100% into the training plan. I believe all those factors probably would have addressed some of the goals I had above.
Did I address my weaknesses?
Biking - absolutely. I am no longer looking at biking endurance as a weakness in my racing.
Swimming - fatique and efficiency. A 36 minute 1/2 IM time in Osoyoos showed me I had definitely improved in the year. I took it upon myself to take swim technique classes throughout the winter, and I made a point of practicing regularily.
Nutrition - better. I wouldn't say I fixed this issue.
Strategy - I developed a strategy and was sticking to it, although when things became unrailed, I definitely went with instinct instead of my head, and that may have hurt me later on.
The "X" factor - the determination, the will, the desire... I wanted to get that as I have seen it as a weakness in my previous racing. That final push to say "go for it"... I'd say this one is a work in progress....
Was I satisfied with my race results?
Amazingly, I am more happy with my race than the one 4 years ago. I had a lot more positives in terms of my performance, given all the hurdles I encountered. I know I did a great job given what I had available to me.
A 5:23 in Osoyoos is really my benchmark in terms of how far I realize I have come. I know I have it in me to put together a great race and that was, by far, my best race to date.
In evaluating last year, very generally, I can figure out the areas I will concentrate more on this year...
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Kona in pictures
Just a few photos taken by my teammate, Murray Frank, in Kona... Oh how I would like to go there someday!!! Even better as a participant...
www.ironcopsbc.com/Kona
Enjoy!
www.ironcopsbc.com/Kona
Enjoy!
Sunday, October 22, 2006
I think I used my 20% this weekend...
They say be good 80% of the time and "indulge" yourself 20% of the time...
Well, I think I just used up my 20% for a while... I was at my cousin's wedding and ate and drank myself into the depths of nutritional hell. I worked hard all week and managed to stick to a new plan of eating largely fruit and vegetables as snacks and always making sure I had a salad at every meal, and, well, that all went out the window.
So, it's back to day 1 again. Today I did a little departure and went mountain biking with my brother for about an hour. I have really not been mountain biking since I was in high school, and I can't even really remember that much about it. But it was a blast. We trekked through the endowment lands and I was amazed at the difference in skill required than riding a road bike. Just the handling, quick turns and downhills that were a little more fraught with... obstacles.
So I need to practice more and more, but I can see this as a great sideline activity to my training as the winter arrives soon.
Well, I think I just used up my 20% for a while... I was at my cousin's wedding and ate and drank myself into the depths of nutritional hell. I worked hard all week and managed to stick to a new plan of eating largely fruit and vegetables as snacks and always making sure I had a salad at every meal, and, well, that all went out the window.
So, it's back to day 1 again. Today I did a little departure and went mountain biking with my brother for about an hour. I have really not been mountain biking since I was in high school, and I can't even really remember that much about it. But it was a blast. We trekked through the endowment lands and I was amazed at the difference in skill required than riding a road bike. Just the handling, quick turns and downhills that were a little more fraught with... obstacles.
So I need to practice more and more, but I can see this as a great sideline activity to my training as the winter arrives soon.
Friday, October 20, 2006
"Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it."
Maya Angelou
My first foray into the nutritional life change is the addition of the "smoothie"... I have started with a series of frozen berries and bananas in a blender, with 2 scoops of protein powder to get going. In my research, I've discovered that, during the preparation period, which I am about to enter in my training program for the year, it's best to gear the ratio's more and more towards higher protein and less carbohydrates. It's also good to actually increase the fat - good fats, of course - percentage, as what I am trying to do is train my body to choose fat for fuel more often and spare the carbohydrates. As my training intensity increases during the spring and summer, I'll be gearing towards the carbohydrates more, but I still want to be training my body to hit the fat stores first...
Ah the wonders of science....
Every day I feel I learn something, and the real joy for me comes in taking something new and finding a way to use it to enhance my fitness and, eventually, performance. I am trying a whole new nutrition plan... Actually, I am really trying a "plan" for the first time in my life. I realistically know that there is no doubt my performance will get better and I will get stronger. After all, increasing my awareness of the food I intake is not disimilar to actually having a training program versus no program... You will automatically improve if you stick to it.
Maya Angelou
My first foray into the nutritional life change is the addition of the "smoothie"... I have started with a series of frozen berries and bananas in a blender, with 2 scoops of protein powder to get going. In my research, I've discovered that, during the preparation period, which I am about to enter in my training program for the year, it's best to gear the ratio's more and more towards higher protein and less carbohydrates. It's also good to actually increase the fat - good fats, of course - percentage, as what I am trying to do is train my body to choose fat for fuel more often and spare the carbohydrates. As my training intensity increases during the spring and summer, I'll be gearing towards the carbohydrates more, but I still want to be training my body to hit the fat stores first...
Ah the wonders of science....
Every day I feel I learn something, and the real joy for me comes in taking something new and finding a way to use it to enhance my fitness and, eventually, performance. I am trying a whole new nutrition plan... Actually, I am really trying a "plan" for the first time in my life. I realistically know that there is no doubt my performance will get better and I will get stronger. After all, increasing my awareness of the food I intake is not disimilar to actually having a training program versus no program... You will automatically improve if you stick to it.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Doing a little nutrition experimenting...
I have been off for about 3 days now. Much of this has been self-imposed but I am also suffering a little from a flu bug that hit me last week and is only now beginning to subside.
In lieu of training, I went and bought the book, "The Paleo Diet for Athletes", and decided that it's high time I became a more informed athlete regarding my nutrition. I can no longer plead ignorance to this very important aspect of training, so I'm immersing myself in the book with the intent of making some very significant changes to my nutrition and, thus, my life.
Tonight, after 3 days off, I have done a "sedentary" weigh in, which gives me my weight on complete recovery. This is a baseline for me to use as I determine my water intake, sweat rate, etc. during prolonged exercise. This I see as integral to developing a strong plan heading forward. So, what was my weight today? 166 lbs. Not big by any stretch, and I'm glad I'm not up to the 175 that I was at this time last year, even though my activity level has been so much lower.
I'll post more about some of the nutrition insights I am getting from the reading and my discussions with some authorities. Right now I am fascinated by the relationship that has all of a sudden become so "clear" to me between the food I take in and how my body is able to perform based on the food. I "know" this logically, but in practical purposes food is, I realize, much more about pleasure to me than it is about producing peak results. Have I been holding back all this time?
In further fleshing this out, I get this overriding sense that I need to make this change, because I have a feeling that if I don't, I will forever ask myself "what could you have done?" and I don't want to ask that question because of my inability to do something very simple like produce an epic diet program to produce epic Ironman results.
In lieu of training, I went and bought the book, "The Paleo Diet for Athletes", and decided that it's high time I became a more informed athlete regarding my nutrition. I can no longer plead ignorance to this very important aspect of training, so I'm immersing myself in the book with the intent of making some very significant changes to my nutrition and, thus, my life.
Tonight, after 3 days off, I have done a "sedentary" weigh in, which gives me my weight on complete recovery. This is a baseline for me to use as I determine my water intake, sweat rate, etc. during prolonged exercise. This I see as integral to developing a strong plan heading forward. So, what was my weight today? 166 lbs. Not big by any stretch, and I'm glad I'm not up to the 175 that I was at this time last year, even though my activity level has been so much lower.
I'll post more about some of the nutrition insights I am getting from the reading and my discussions with some authorities. Right now I am fascinated by the relationship that has all of a sudden become so "clear" to me between the food I take in and how my body is able to perform based on the food. I "know" this logically, but in practical purposes food is, I realize, much more about pleasure to me than it is about producing peak results. Have I been holding back all this time?
In further fleshing this out, I get this overriding sense that I need to make this change, because I have a feeling that if I don't, I will forever ask myself "what could you have done?" and I don't want to ask that question because of my inability to do something very simple like produce an epic diet program to produce epic Ironman results.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Off season training...
Enter the last week of full recovery. I'll be starting some routines again this week, namely adding a couple of swim workouts... Otherwise I am still in the "exercise when I feel like it" mode for the rest of the week.
After a somewhat lazy day of breakfast, tea and just some general housecleaning, I've decided to skip a run I thought I would get in this afternoon. To be truthful, the weather outside right now is just plain ugly. It's raining like crazy and my motivation level to get out there just is not there. So, I'm taking the day off...
I've realized I need a new pair of runners, and I think now is as good a time as any to start exploring a couple of new options. My Asics DS Trainers, the "shoe of choice" for a few years, are fine, but lately I have found that I might consider something with a little more "cushioning support" and less pronation control. Especially since I don't anticipate running more than 45 minutes for a few weeks at a time anyway. It's a great time to try to improve my running technique and start using a more neutral show. I also have my Nike Free's, the so-called "barefoot runners", to start training with and this would be a great time to try them out. I'm going to start with them on Tuesdays during some form workouts on the track with them...
Starting on the 23rd, I'm going for 3 days of swimming, 2 biking and 2 running days, with 3 strength training workouts. This should go on for about 7-8 weeks or so.
For this week, though, maybe 3-4 hours max!
After a somewhat lazy day of breakfast, tea and just some general housecleaning, I've decided to skip a run I thought I would get in this afternoon. To be truthful, the weather outside right now is just plain ugly. It's raining like crazy and my motivation level to get out there just is not there. So, I'm taking the day off...
I've realized I need a new pair of runners, and I think now is as good a time as any to start exploring a couple of new options. My Asics DS Trainers, the "shoe of choice" for a few years, are fine, but lately I have found that I might consider something with a little more "cushioning support" and less pronation control. Especially since I don't anticipate running more than 45 minutes for a few weeks at a time anyway. It's a great time to try to improve my running technique and start using a more neutral show. I also have my Nike Free's, the so-called "barefoot runners", to start training with and this would be a great time to try them out. I'm going to start with them on Tuesdays during some form workouts on the track with them...
Starting on the 23rd, I'm going for 3 days of swimming, 2 biking and 2 running days, with 3 strength training workouts. This should go on for about 7-8 weeks or so.
For this week, though, maybe 3-4 hours max!
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Online changes...
I have been searching for some new ways to publish this blog for a few days. I wasn't happy with the format or with the overall "look" of this diary, and I also have been trying to figure out a bit more "purpose" to having such a public expression of myself available for all to see. After getting some e-mails from strangers and friends alike, I realize that, as compelling as my story is :), I also think having something actually "valuable" to talk about once and a while would be nice.
So, I've done a little revamping to my little diary. Really, I am trying hard to justify it's existence... As if that wasn't immediately obvious. I figure, "why should someone come and read this blog?" and so I've added a couple of things. You'll notice the link to "Race Reports" has been added. I went through my archives and found all my race reports for the year and added them as a new link for easy reference.
Partly I think this is just housecleaning. It's nice to log in and be happy about the look of what you are using on a daily basis. This has almost nothing to do with the Ironman, or life, or triathlons, or life, or anything of significance (life)... Just part of my own mid-life blog crisis.....
I think, though, with a little bit more of a better look, I'll be able to link up actual "information" and training tips so that anybody reading this can actually find something. Plus, I think adding easy links to other websites makes this a great homepage for myself.
Yeah, a little self-indulgent, but if you've been reading this long enough you know that's not exactly a sore spot with me.
I also worked on my preliminary budget for Ironman 2007.... Ready for it??? I have a projected $11,500 budget for the year... Add in the $2,400 bike purchase and this makes sense, but even I was shocked. At SOME point, you have to think this sport will get cheaper... With my "new look blog" I'll post the budget, as soon as I've fine-tuned it...
As for training, I've been sticking primarily to running this past week and have gotten in 4 runs of 40-50 minutes each. I'm keeping to the Mark Allen philosophy of base building, and keeping my heart rate in the 155-163 range for all the runs, and trying my best never to exceed it. In a couple of hours I start my swim training with Deano, and we're off to the races.
So, I've done a little revamping to my little diary. Really, I am trying hard to justify it's existence... As if that wasn't immediately obvious. I figure, "why should someone come and read this blog?" and so I've added a couple of things. You'll notice the link to "Race Reports" has been added. I went through my archives and found all my race reports for the year and added them as a new link for easy reference.
Partly I think this is just housecleaning. It's nice to log in and be happy about the look of what you are using on a daily basis. This has almost nothing to do with the Ironman, or life, or triathlons, or life, or anything of significance (life)... Just part of my own mid-life blog crisis.....
I think, though, with a little bit more of a better look, I'll be able to link up actual "information" and training tips so that anybody reading this can actually find something. Plus, I think adding easy links to other websites makes this a great homepage for myself.
Yeah, a little self-indulgent, but if you've been reading this long enough you know that's not exactly a sore spot with me.
I also worked on my preliminary budget for Ironman 2007.... Ready for it??? I have a projected $11,500 budget for the year... Add in the $2,400 bike purchase and this makes sense, but even I was shocked. At SOME point, you have to think this sport will get cheaper... With my "new look blog" I'll post the budget, as soon as I've fine-tuned it...
As for training, I've been sticking primarily to running this past week and have gotten in 4 runs of 40-50 minutes each. I'm keeping to the Mark Allen philosophy of base building, and keeping my heart rate in the 155-163 range for all the runs, and trying my best never to exceed it. In a couple of hours I start my swim training with Deano, and we're off to the races.
Friday, October 13, 2006
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Chatting with Deano
I begin with a meeting with my coach to discuss last year and set up for the new year. Dean and I are meeting up tomorrow and then heading out for a run.
I realize now it's mid-October. By no means are we in a mode of panic, but I understand that it is 10 1/2 months until Ironman. It seems like it all just ended and I was focusing on a blissful month of "unfocus"... Well, when you have a goal of pushing to your best race, there is no time to start like the present.
I read recently in the Triathlete magazine about how the new "champions" of Ironman will be found, and what the past ones have had in common. The common denominator is an infatigable work ethic and desire to win and compete. Also a rigorous base building discipline in the winter. I suppose it is that time for me. While I don't anticipate 5-6 hour rides in the next couple of months, or 20 mile runs, I think it's fair enough to say I need a consistency to my training that I can establish in the next couple of weeks. I need the discipline TO train and to train properly. And to pick benchmarks along the way to measure my progress. These could come in the form of a couple of 1/2 marathons or time trials to measure performance, or lactic threshold tests. I'll discuss this with Dean tomorrow.
I'll be honest, I'm ready. This is year 2 of the 3 year plan to get to Hawaii. I can admit that now. I built up a good base and now it's time to take this to the next level. I want to be qualifying for Hawaii by 2008, when I'll do it at Ironman Canada again.
I've started formulating a budget for myself for the year. I think that the first step to success in this is making sure I don't go overboard with new expenses. Having already thrown in a $2,400 expense on a new bike and wheels, I figure my big spending is done for the year. The Computrainer will have to wait. I can always steal some sessions with a couple of friends who have the setup at their place... May make me more sociable anyway.
A friend told me to sparingly use my new bike on the indoor trainer as it places excess stress on the frame. I'll have to check into this. It would be nice to do some workouts on the Cervelo but I don't plan to ride it in inclement weather.
I realize now it's mid-October. By no means are we in a mode of panic, but I understand that it is 10 1/2 months until Ironman. It seems like it all just ended and I was focusing on a blissful month of "unfocus"... Well, when you have a goal of pushing to your best race, there is no time to start like the present.
I read recently in the Triathlete magazine about how the new "champions" of Ironman will be found, and what the past ones have had in common. The common denominator is an infatigable work ethic and desire to win and compete. Also a rigorous base building discipline in the winter. I suppose it is that time for me. While I don't anticipate 5-6 hour rides in the next couple of months, or 20 mile runs, I think it's fair enough to say I need a consistency to my training that I can establish in the next couple of weeks. I need the discipline TO train and to train properly. And to pick benchmarks along the way to measure my progress. These could come in the form of a couple of 1/2 marathons or time trials to measure performance, or lactic threshold tests. I'll discuss this with Dean tomorrow.
I'll be honest, I'm ready. This is year 2 of the 3 year plan to get to Hawaii. I can admit that now. I built up a good base and now it's time to take this to the next level. I want to be qualifying for Hawaii by 2008, when I'll do it at Ironman Canada again.
I've started formulating a budget for myself for the year. I think that the first step to success in this is making sure I don't go overboard with new expenses. Having already thrown in a $2,400 expense on a new bike and wheels, I figure my big spending is done for the year. The Computrainer will have to wait. I can always steal some sessions with a couple of friends who have the setup at their place... May make me more sociable anyway.
A friend told me to sparingly use my new bike on the indoor trainer as it places excess stress on the frame. I'll have to check into this. It would be nice to do some workouts on the Cervelo but I don't plan to ride it in inclement weather.
Monday, October 09, 2006
Defending my discontent...
To be honest, sometimes I assume something is wrong with me. I have this conversation time and time again with friends and family... And it comes down to thoughts like "Everyone else seems to be getting on with things. What's wrong with us?"
But it seems that we're all in a bit of a riddle that we think we SHOULD have the answer, and yet none of us seem to.
I think I should be more content in finding a job, settling down, being happy with my athletic pursuits, and so on.
Maybe I just peaked too early. I went for Ironman and now, settling back seems almost like getting on with life and, yawn...
So, yeah, there is a nagging discontent that I feel almost daily. Truthfully I'm just not, and I don't know if I can without continuing to push the envelope of myself. This is where Ironman has become such a quest. It's not even about Ironman, but about a part of myself that I know can never be completely fulfilled, and yet, with each attempt, I draw closer and closer. I love the exploration of how to put it all together, knowing full well I have never put it all together. In three attempts at Ironman, I've finished it gloriously and with the anticipation of a newborn, I've been forced to drop out of contention through injury in 2005, and then in 2006 I've battled through different obstacles just to get to the start line and then to the finish line. Each has been an offer to say "hey, great job, you've made it" and back off and get back to the world of being a "former Ironman athlete".
In my discussions, this has definitely drawn other life parallels out. I really have never been content in a job... And that really is not a secret and has been as evident in my career switches as in anything else.
So I think about career, career, career... I chatted with my mom about this the other day and I came up with the following conclusions about my eventual career of choice. I have to have independence, and I'm not good working for someone else exclusively. In other words, I like working for myself. And I like flexibility in a job. So, there's that... Well, when you know what you want, you attract it to you.
But it sure lends itself to a lot of discontent.
Often, when my discontent is too much to bare, I have buried it beneath "busy-ness" and frenzied thoughts, and tried to escape it with t.v. It's funny, because I won't even work out or exercise when I become overwhelmed.
Even though I try to ignore my discontent, it cannot be eradicated... And that is where I think we go wrong sometimes. We TRY to bury it. But our discontent, I read recently, is really our desire trying to express itself. And that is the essence of our soul, and our existence. It's no big secret, really. After all, absolutely nothing of any significant human achievement is ever accomplished without desire.
Desire fuels our search for the life we prize.
Life as usual is not the life we truly want.
G.K. Chesterton wrote this, "We have come to the wrong star... That is what makes life at once so splendid and so strange. The true happiness is that we don't fit. We come from somewhere else. We have lost our way."
To flesh this thought out, the meaning of our life is revealed through experiences that, at first, seem at odds with each other - moments we wish would never end and moments we wish would never have begun.
If we're not where we need to be, why should we be happy to be away from there. And that's why I call this a quest. I'm not there. I'm not even close. I'm missing things. I'm incomplete. But I'm constantly searching and looking for the signs that tell me "that's where you should go"... The beautiful girl I met who captures me in a way I haven't been captured by other beautiful girls before (this is admitting that I want to be "caught").
I don't desire to fit in, to get by, or any of that. I want to use the journey to Ironman, to love, to life, as a journey towards very high desires. Some might say "kingly".
All this comes down to how I explain my need to keep with Ironman and endurance racing. To me it really is just part of a larger explanation for how I want to live. I never want to finish and feel like I arrived. Don't get me wrong, I want some very big things to happen. I want love, I want a family, etc. but I never will feel like this is the end... That I have arrived.
I'm returning to the journey. Like Frodo at the end of the Lord of the Rings, I can't go through all that, and come back to the shire, and just tend to the gardens. Not how I am built... That, for me, would be forfeiting my desire and my soul...
But it seems that we're all in a bit of a riddle that we think we SHOULD have the answer, and yet none of us seem to.
I think I should be more content in finding a job, settling down, being happy with my athletic pursuits, and so on.
Maybe I just peaked too early. I went for Ironman and now, settling back seems almost like getting on with life and, yawn...
So, yeah, there is a nagging discontent that I feel almost daily. Truthfully I'm just not, and I don't know if I can without continuing to push the envelope of myself. This is where Ironman has become such a quest. It's not even about Ironman, but about a part of myself that I know can never be completely fulfilled, and yet, with each attempt, I draw closer and closer. I love the exploration of how to put it all together, knowing full well I have never put it all together. In three attempts at Ironman, I've finished it gloriously and with the anticipation of a newborn, I've been forced to drop out of contention through injury in 2005, and then in 2006 I've battled through different obstacles just to get to the start line and then to the finish line. Each has been an offer to say "hey, great job, you've made it" and back off and get back to the world of being a "former Ironman athlete".
In my discussions, this has definitely drawn other life parallels out. I really have never been content in a job... And that really is not a secret and has been as evident in my career switches as in anything else.
So I think about career, career, career... I chatted with my mom about this the other day and I came up with the following conclusions about my eventual career of choice. I have to have independence, and I'm not good working for someone else exclusively. In other words, I like working for myself. And I like flexibility in a job. So, there's that... Well, when you know what you want, you attract it to you.
But it sure lends itself to a lot of discontent.
Often, when my discontent is too much to bare, I have buried it beneath "busy-ness" and frenzied thoughts, and tried to escape it with t.v. It's funny, because I won't even work out or exercise when I become overwhelmed.
Even though I try to ignore my discontent, it cannot be eradicated... And that is where I think we go wrong sometimes. We TRY to bury it. But our discontent, I read recently, is really our desire trying to express itself. And that is the essence of our soul, and our existence. It's no big secret, really. After all, absolutely nothing of any significant human achievement is ever accomplished without desire.
Desire fuels our search for the life we prize.
Life as usual is not the life we truly want.
G.K. Chesterton wrote this, "We have come to the wrong star... That is what makes life at once so splendid and so strange. The true happiness is that we don't fit. We come from somewhere else. We have lost our way."
To flesh this thought out, the meaning of our life is revealed through experiences that, at first, seem at odds with each other - moments we wish would never end and moments we wish would never have begun.
If we're not where we need to be, why should we be happy to be away from there. And that's why I call this a quest. I'm not there. I'm not even close. I'm missing things. I'm incomplete. But I'm constantly searching and looking for the signs that tell me "that's where you should go"... The beautiful girl I met who captures me in a way I haven't been captured by other beautiful girls before (this is admitting that I want to be "caught").
I don't desire to fit in, to get by, or any of that. I want to use the journey to Ironman, to love, to life, as a journey towards very high desires. Some might say "kingly".
All this comes down to how I explain my need to keep with Ironman and endurance racing. To me it really is just part of a larger explanation for how I want to live. I never want to finish and feel like I arrived. Don't get me wrong, I want some very big things to happen. I want love, I want a family, etc. but I never will feel like this is the end... That I have arrived.
I'm returning to the journey. Like Frodo at the end of the Lord of the Rings, I can't go through all that, and come back to the shire, and just tend to the gardens. Not how I am built... That, for me, would be forfeiting my desire and my soul...
The Hoyts again...
As we get closer to Ironman World Championships in Hawaii, the "mecca" of Ironman if you wish, it's good to be reminded of the really great stories around Ironman... This article was forwarded to me last week and I wanted to put this up on the blog... (click on the title above to be directed to the website):
[From Sports Illustrated, By Rick Reilly]
I try to be a good father. Give my kids mulligans. Work nights to pay For their text messaging. Take them to swimsuit shoots.
But compared with Dick Hoyt, I suck.
Eighty-five times he's pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles in Marathons. Eight times he's not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a Wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and Pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars--all in the same day.
Dick's also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back Mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. On a bike. Makes Taking your son bowling look a little lame, right?
And what has Rick done for his father? Not much--except save his life.This love story began in Winchester , Mass. , 43 years ago, when Rick Was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him Brain-damaged and unable to control his limbs.
"He'll be a vegetable the rest of his life;'' Dick says doctors told him And his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. ``Put him in an Institution.''
But the Hoyts weren't buying it. They noticed the way Rick's eyes Followed them around the room. When Rick was 11 they took him to the Engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was Anything to help the boy communicate. ``No way,'' Dick says he was told. ``There's nothing going on in his brain.''
"Tell him a joke,'' Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a Lot was going on in his brain. Rigged up with a computer that allowed Him to control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his Head, Rick was finally able to communicate. First words? ``Go Bruins!'' And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the School organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, ``Dad, I want To do that.''
Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described ``porker'' who never ran More than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he Tried. ``Then it was me who was handicapped,'' Dick says. ``I was sore For two weeks.''
That day changed Rick's life. ``Dad,'' he typed, ``when we were running, It felt like I wasn't disabled anymore!''
And that sentence changed Dick's life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into such hard-belly Shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon.
``No way,'' Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren't quite a Single runner, and they weren't quite a wheelchair competitor. For a few Years Dick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway, then They found a way to get into the race Officially: In 1983 they ran another marathon so fast they made the Qualifying time for Boston the following year.
Then somebody said, ``Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?''
How's a guy who never learned to swim and hadn't ridden a bike since he Was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a triathlon? Still, Dick Tried.
Now they've done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironmans in Hawaii . It must be a buzzkill to be a 25-year-old stud Getting passed by an old guy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don't you Think?
Hey, Dick, why not see how you'd do on your own? ``No way,'' he says. Dick does it purely for ``the awesome feeling'' he gets seeing Rick with A cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together.
This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th Boston Marathon, in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters. Their best Time? Two hours, 40 minutes in 1992--only 35 minutes off the world Record, which, in case you don't keep track of these things, happens to Be held by a guy who was not pushing another man in a wheelchair at the Time.
``No question about it,'' Rick types. ``My dad is the Father of the Century.''
And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago he had a Mild heart attack during a race. Doctors found that one of his arteries Was 95% clogged. ``If you hadn't been in such great shape,'' One doctor told him, ``you probably would've died 15 years ago.'' So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved each other's life.
Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston, and Dick, retired from the military and living in Holland, Mass. , always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking race every weekend, including this Father's Day.
That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy.
``The thing I'd most like,'' Rick types, ``is that my dad sit in the chair and I push him once.''
And the video is below....
or if having problems with the video above you can click here.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4B-r8KJhlE
[From Sports Illustrated, By Rick Reilly]
I try to be a good father. Give my kids mulligans. Work nights to pay For their text messaging. Take them to swimsuit shoots.
But compared with Dick Hoyt, I suck.
Eighty-five times he's pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles in Marathons. Eight times he's not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a Wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and Pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars--all in the same day.
Dick's also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back Mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. On a bike. Makes Taking your son bowling look a little lame, right?
And what has Rick done for his father? Not much--except save his life.This love story began in Winchester , Mass. , 43 years ago, when Rick Was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him Brain-damaged and unable to control his limbs.
"He'll be a vegetable the rest of his life;'' Dick says doctors told him And his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. ``Put him in an Institution.''
But the Hoyts weren't buying it. They noticed the way Rick's eyes Followed them around the room. When Rick was 11 they took him to the Engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was Anything to help the boy communicate. ``No way,'' Dick says he was told. ``There's nothing going on in his brain.''
"Tell him a joke,'' Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a Lot was going on in his brain. Rigged up with a computer that allowed Him to control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his Head, Rick was finally able to communicate. First words? ``Go Bruins!'' And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the School organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, ``Dad, I want To do that.''
Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described ``porker'' who never ran More than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he Tried. ``Then it was me who was handicapped,'' Dick says. ``I was sore For two weeks.''
That day changed Rick's life. ``Dad,'' he typed, ``when we were running, It felt like I wasn't disabled anymore!''
And that sentence changed Dick's life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into such hard-belly Shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon.
``No way,'' Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren't quite a Single runner, and they weren't quite a wheelchair competitor. For a few Years Dick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway, then They found a way to get into the race Officially: In 1983 they ran another marathon so fast they made the Qualifying time for Boston the following year.
Then somebody said, ``Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?''
How's a guy who never learned to swim and hadn't ridden a bike since he Was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a triathlon? Still, Dick Tried.
Now they've done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironmans in Hawaii . It must be a buzzkill to be a 25-year-old stud Getting passed by an old guy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don't you Think?
Hey, Dick, why not see how you'd do on your own? ``No way,'' he says. Dick does it purely for ``the awesome feeling'' he gets seeing Rick with A cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together.
This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th Boston Marathon, in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters. Their best Time? Two hours, 40 minutes in 1992--only 35 minutes off the world Record, which, in case you don't keep track of these things, happens to Be held by a guy who was not pushing another man in a wheelchair at the Time.
``No question about it,'' Rick types. ``My dad is the Father of the Century.''
And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago he had a Mild heart attack during a race. Doctors found that one of his arteries Was 95% clogged. ``If you hadn't been in such great shape,'' One doctor told him, ``you probably would've died 15 years ago.'' So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved each other's life.
Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston, and Dick, retired from the military and living in Holland, Mass. , always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking race every weekend, including this Father's Day.
That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy.
``The thing I'd most like,'' Rick types, ``is that my dad sit in the chair and I push him once.''
And the video is below....
or if having problems with the video above you can click here.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4B-r8KJhlE
Swim classes begin Saturday.
It's Monday and it's already time to start thinking about swimming again... I feel like I've been out of the water for months.
In all seriousness, I think I HAVE been. After all, my brief recovery from the cast removal was only about 4-5 days and then I had the Ironman, and other than two recovery swims on Monday and Tuesday after that, I really haven't been swimming since. 6-7 weeks off, plus another 6-7 weeks. It's a good thing I am taking lessons!
I also am still dealing with the rehabilitation of my left hand and wrist. I do not have full mobility yet and it is starting to get a little frustrating. I still cannot do a legitimate push up which, in the grand scheme of things, is not all that big of a deal, but I still wonder how long recovery will take.
Is all of this a little bit of a panic setting in, or a restlessness?
In all seriousness, I think I HAVE been. After all, my brief recovery from the cast removal was only about 4-5 days and then I had the Ironman, and other than two recovery swims on Monday and Tuesday after that, I really haven't been swimming since. 6-7 weeks off, plus another 6-7 weeks. It's a good thing I am taking lessons!
I also am still dealing with the rehabilitation of my left hand and wrist. I do not have full mobility yet and it is starting to get a little frustrating. I still cannot do a legitimate push up which, in the grand scheme of things, is not all that big of a deal, but I still wonder how long recovery will take.
Is all of this a little bit of a panic setting in, or a restlessness?
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Keep it simple... stupid
I realize I'm in a state of preparation. I am preparing myself mentally for the road ahead. These days it's like I'm waking up from a deep sleep - recovery - and trying to figure out what to do with those precious moments between the haze of being awake, and the time I start work. In Chi, they teach you to spend those moments getting centered and developing "body awareness", not thinking about work, or your stresses, or e-mail etc. but simply getting "in tune", and letting your body slowly adapt to changing from the dream state to the awake-state.
In a way, it's the same as looking at the period from full recovery to the beginning of training. Now is an opportunity to look back at last year and look at what went right, but also at some of the things that were stressing me out, taking away from my priorities and my life, and affecting my training and performance.
And, in doing so, making a list of the areas that I felt held me back in training last year. The overriding conclusions I have come to are my over-commitment to activities and events that caused me to have to sacrifice worthwhile endevours a few too many times. Also, I travelled a lot during the year, for volunteer work but also for vacation. Now, without taking away the merits of both, I feel that the constant weekend's away were definitely not working to build a solid training routine. It seems that taking one step forward let to 1 1/2 steps backwards on some months. Getting in a long ride and run, and following that up with 2 weekends of travel, did not help me build on my success for example.
So, in doing this, I have thought of some ways I could use last year's experience as a sign of what I should consider this year. My first priority is to find ways to reduce stress in my life and things that will "stress" the effectiveness of my training:
1) Less travel - I do have some commitments this year. I have a wedding and a convention to attend next summer. But, I can limit my travel to very little beyond that. If I can spend the winter and early part of spring focused on base building then I'll benefit greatly.
2) Less commitment to other organizations - I have already made some of these decisions. I have lessened my role with my fraternal volunteering and have kept it local (thus reducing travel). I plan on being involved in things, like my tri-club, Ironcops and running clubs, but I won't commit myself to big projects and goals unless they match up with what I want to get.
3) Improved nutrition and sleeping - I am realizing more and more that I can gain a lot more perspective and improved energy and vitality through my eating. So, I'm going to be giving up fast food completely (amazed that I still am a habitual user), like burgers and such. But, also, adding fish oils and more vegetables and fruits to my diet.
4) Less "cluttered" living - reducing television, especially late night tv. Also scheduling internet and e-mail time more effectively and using them as tools rather than as filler for life.
I think that's a good start. I've grown less and less attached to the need for material growth. I do have an overall priority in this regard and that is to stay out of debt completely for the year.
Spending time each day reconnecting with nature would be something I would also like to focus on. I'd like to look into the possibility of a short 30 minute jog or walk in the morning before work in the trails or something, just to get my heart moving and reconnecting with nature.
All this is not just for Ironman, but for making life more meaningful. I've started to get away from the need to fit in "more things" for myself, but to become content and masterful at the things I do already, and enjoy.
Some things I want to receive in my life on a daily basis: peace, physical power, tranquility, love, and humility. I have a new book called the "Law of Attraction" and I'm going through that right now to determine a course of action to bring those things to my life more.
As I think about this more and more, depression was a major aspect of the first few months of the new year. With all these commitments I had, I was still finding myself in a situation of feeling like my head was barely above water sometimes. There were some key factors in this, the first being that I really felt lost, and unsure if the path I was on was leading anywhere, or even if I was on a path.
Over all this, I think keeping some basic, simple premises in mind would serve me some good. Keeping myself in a feeling of having a bigger purpose, not just a day-to-day, will help. But how do I find that and stay balanced - balanced meaning without having to "be" something to someone in order to feel like I have a purpose?
Good question...
Some say balance is living our life in harmony and peace... Seems simple enough as a starting point for me.
In a way, it's the same as looking at the period from full recovery to the beginning of training. Now is an opportunity to look back at last year and look at what went right, but also at some of the things that were stressing me out, taking away from my priorities and my life, and affecting my training and performance.
And, in doing so, making a list of the areas that I felt held me back in training last year. The overriding conclusions I have come to are my over-commitment to activities and events that caused me to have to sacrifice worthwhile endevours a few too many times. Also, I travelled a lot during the year, for volunteer work but also for vacation. Now, without taking away the merits of both, I feel that the constant weekend's away were definitely not working to build a solid training routine. It seems that taking one step forward let to 1 1/2 steps backwards on some months. Getting in a long ride and run, and following that up with 2 weekends of travel, did not help me build on my success for example.
So, in doing this, I have thought of some ways I could use last year's experience as a sign of what I should consider this year. My first priority is to find ways to reduce stress in my life and things that will "stress" the effectiveness of my training:
1) Less travel - I do have some commitments this year. I have a wedding and a convention to attend next summer. But, I can limit my travel to very little beyond that. If I can spend the winter and early part of spring focused on base building then I'll benefit greatly.
2) Less commitment to other organizations - I have already made some of these decisions. I have lessened my role with my fraternal volunteering and have kept it local (thus reducing travel). I plan on being involved in things, like my tri-club, Ironcops and running clubs, but I won't commit myself to big projects and goals unless they match up with what I want to get.
3) Improved nutrition and sleeping - I am realizing more and more that I can gain a lot more perspective and improved energy and vitality through my eating. So, I'm going to be giving up fast food completely (amazed that I still am a habitual user), like burgers and such. But, also, adding fish oils and more vegetables and fruits to my diet.
4) Less "cluttered" living - reducing television, especially late night tv. Also scheduling internet and e-mail time more effectively and using them as tools rather than as filler for life.
I think that's a good start. I've grown less and less attached to the need for material growth. I do have an overall priority in this regard and that is to stay out of debt completely for the year.
Spending time each day reconnecting with nature would be something I would also like to focus on. I'd like to look into the possibility of a short 30 minute jog or walk in the morning before work in the trails or something, just to get my heart moving and reconnecting with nature.
All this is not just for Ironman, but for making life more meaningful. I've started to get away from the need to fit in "more things" for myself, but to become content and masterful at the things I do already, and enjoy.
Some things I want to receive in my life on a daily basis: peace, physical power, tranquility, love, and humility. I have a new book called the "Law of Attraction" and I'm going through that right now to determine a course of action to bring those things to my life more.
As I think about this more and more, depression was a major aspect of the first few months of the new year. With all these commitments I had, I was still finding myself in a situation of feeling like my head was barely above water sometimes. There were some key factors in this, the first being that I really felt lost, and unsure if the path I was on was leading anywhere, or even if I was on a path.
Over all this, I think keeping some basic, simple premises in mind would serve me some good. Keeping myself in a feeling of having a bigger purpose, not just a day-to-day, will help. But how do I find that and stay balanced - balanced meaning without having to "be" something to someone in order to feel like I have a purpose?
Good question...
Some say balance is living our life in harmony and peace... Seems simple enough as a starting point for me.
Friday, October 06, 2006
Time to get back going again...
It's Friday, and I've realized that I am done with my break. I've been breaking, on and off, since Ironman, although I never really felt like I had a complete break as I had the Portland Marathon to train for. However, I definitely have not been in any kind of serious "training mode". And my lakadazical training levels have been a welcome change from the rigours of a summer of Ironman training....
But I am ready to get going again.
In one more week I start my first swim training session on Saturdays, and this week I'll begin the conditioning program that I had planned on doing. It's a combination of flexibility, strength training and balancing exercises to improve my functional strength and my range of motion.
There are a lot of things I hope to accomplish this year. Dean and I are already talking about meeting up sometime in the next week to go over it. With him as my triathlon coach and Paul as my strength and conditioning advisor, I'm just looking for a nutrition plan to round out the big three.
But I am ready to get going again.
In one more week I start my first swim training session on Saturdays, and this week I'll begin the conditioning program that I had planned on doing. It's a combination of flexibility, strength training and balancing exercises to improve my functional strength and my range of motion.
There are a lot of things I hope to accomplish this year. Dean and I are already talking about meeting up sometime in the next week to go over it. With him as my triathlon coach and Paul as my strength and conditioning advisor, I'm just looking for a nutrition plan to round out the big three.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Habits, habits habits...
I have finally had a chance to sit down and write this... It's been a crazy couple of days in the life of Anthony and so it's been tough to get down to business. Actually, I'll be writing this over a couple of days as I am just about exhausted right now so it might take me a few chains of thought to have something that makes any sense.
So I ran the Portland Marathon this weekend and had a fun race. Kristina, Paul and I drove down on Saturday morning. I was happy to go on Saturday although we had not been able to get the official check in changed at the Hilton, so we were going to be stuck with the Friday AND Saturday on our hotel bill.
We went and watched Jackass 2 the night before and Kristina and I got popcorn and chocolate. Probably not the greatest pre-race snack but it seemed like a good way to relax.
And it worked, for the most part. I had a phenomenal first half, finishing in 1:32 for 13.1 miles. Considering my run in February at the 1st Half was a 1:33 that shows that I've had a lot of running improvement. However, I definitely paid for the speed, in that I had lost my legs on the back end of this marathon. At the 18 mile mark, my speed dropped from 7 minute miles to 8 minute miles as my legs just gave out. I have felt this before... Always when I've run a marathon within 3 weeks of another marathon.
So, I can definitely tell the toll of ironman has still not left my system entirely.
I am taking the next two weeks off completely, culminating in my October 14th return at the swimming clinic on Saturday.
I have gotten out of the habit of writing on this blog, so I'm hoping to get started back up again. It's an interesting process trying to figure out what relevant subject matter I want to plug into here, since Ironman training is in a rest phase. Maybe it's the rest phase that I'm struggling with. I stare across the room and look at my bike, and feel as though I am both anxious to get back going, and happy that I don't HAVE to get back going anytime soon... A very odd sense for myself.
Still, I'm fighting back a bit of a cold right now, and have Thanksgiving this weekend, so now is not the time to get too anxious. I really am just trying to enjoy the downtime. My body needs the rest more than ever. My thumb is still not 100%, and mentally I'm a little worn out.
So I ran the Portland Marathon this weekend and had a fun race. Kristina, Paul and I drove down on Saturday morning. I was happy to go on Saturday although we had not been able to get the official check in changed at the Hilton, so we were going to be stuck with the Friday AND Saturday on our hotel bill.
We went and watched Jackass 2 the night before and Kristina and I got popcorn and chocolate. Probably not the greatest pre-race snack but it seemed like a good way to relax.
And it worked, for the most part. I had a phenomenal first half, finishing in 1:32 for 13.1 miles. Considering my run in February at the 1st Half was a 1:33 that shows that I've had a lot of running improvement. However, I definitely paid for the speed, in that I had lost my legs on the back end of this marathon. At the 18 mile mark, my speed dropped from 7 minute miles to 8 minute miles as my legs just gave out. I have felt this before... Always when I've run a marathon within 3 weeks of another marathon.
So, I can definitely tell the toll of ironman has still not left my system entirely.
I am taking the next two weeks off completely, culminating in my October 14th return at the swimming clinic on Saturday.
I have gotten out of the habit of writing on this blog, so I'm hoping to get started back up again. It's an interesting process trying to figure out what relevant subject matter I want to plug into here, since Ironman training is in a rest phase. Maybe it's the rest phase that I'm struggling with. I stare across the room and look at my bike, and feel as though I am both anxious to get back going, and happy that I don't HAVE to get back going anytime soon... A very odd sense for myself.
Still, I'm fighting back a bit of a cold right now, and have Thanksgiving this weekend, so now is not the time to get too anxious. I really am just trying to enjoy the downtime. My body needs the rest more than ever. My thumb is still not 100%, and mentally I'm a little worn out.
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